Private Thoughts and Imaginations...

Saturday, August 19, 2006


Each one of us has a unique story... some might seem to be alike, but with some differences in the tiny details... and there are others whom i consider remarkable; they are indeed like no other... up till now, i can't figure out in which category is life story going to be...

I still can't understand how some people look at you and say that you are an open book that can easily be read... it's amazing how they can tell what you're thinking of, or expect how you would exactly act in a specific situation... it's like they know you better than you know yourself...

others might look at you and say that you are vague, that you are filled with mysterys and secrets... there is something in your eyes that they can't explain, and it's just hard to "understand" you... i would say that each one of us is a combination of both :) we all have atleast two sides... the side we want others to meet, and the side that only we know about.

i can't count the number of people i've met in the past months, but i surely can remember Neshe, a beautiful young lady who changed her path just to help us find our way back in Turkey, i remember the 6 years old Da-Yun-Lee from Korea, a smart kid who found a way to communicate and play with me while sailing, her smile is still stuck in my head :) i remember Helen & Fred Ford from Australia, a sweet couple we've met in the Haghia Sophia... and there was Urzu, a shop owner who tailored a suit specially for me in just 3 days! another shop owner gave us a blue bead to protect us from evil eyes :) i even met a cute little kid named Younis, he once told me that he's sorry he didn't miss me before, but that was just coz he hadn't met me yet :) that was the sweetest thing i've ever heard in my life :) i met lots of people whom i can no longer remember their names, but could still remember how nice they were to me :)

it's true that i've met them for only a couple of hours, but they have all touched my life in a magical way :) i loved the way we managed to get along without using words, how we managed to find our own way to understand each other :) and although i know i probably won't be able to see any of them again, the sweet memories they gave me shall live in my heart forever :)

Turkey was a wonderful experience, every place you go, and wherever you look, you'll find a beautiful story waiting to be told, the walls, their buses, the streets, malls and hotels, and every single thing that you might think of... i loved Turkey, not because of the places i've been to, but because of the people i've met :) i loved the unique mixture of people they have, and how they all get along with each other, and i loved how friendly everyone is :)

they were 7 days that i'll never forget, i can't deny that i was extreamly happy to get back to my room, but deep inside, i wished if i could have stayed a little bit longer :)

anyway, if anyone is looking forward to spending their vacation in Istanbul, i recommend visiting the Dolmabache palace, the Blue Mosque, the Top Kapi and the Haghia Sophia... The Dolmabache certainly has a unique story to tell :)

p.s: find yourself a good guide, he can really make a difference :)


  • At Monday, August 21, 2006 5:54:00 AM , Blogger NAR said...

    "i would say that each one of us is a combination of both :) we all have atleast two sides... the side we want others to meet, and the side that only we know about"

    I tend to think that one has more than two sides. I notice that I act differently with every friend I have - kind off balancing their personality.

  • At Friday, August 25, 2006 12:41:00 AM , Blogger Rain Drop said...

    i sometimes feel that people act in the way they think u expect them to :) some try to gain ur admiration or make u like them by acting as if both of u have something in common... others try to get in to u just to get what they want, and in all cases, they're just faking it! they're not being who they really are...

    the question is, how hard is it to just "be yourself", to not care about what others think about u, to have only one side??? i guess only few people do :) maybe they are the only ones who know who they really are...

  • At Friday, September 01, 2006 12:45:00 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    well i cant understand any thing... but i hope i got alittle idea about ur post..... i wanna ask a question before! why to be vague?
    no body of us can be an open book all the time and in all situations !
    but the differences between me and u is "what situations that stimulates us to behave in abnormal way or in a vague way ! "
    these situations vary from a person to another person.

    some people use their hidden face to cheat while others use their hidden face in some situations where u cant show ur real face,ONLY.

    and when some one say that u r like an open book that means this person trusts u....and when some one says u r vague then this person dosnt show u his/her real face because he/she is cautious from ur vague side.

    some people hide one side while showing another side due to personal or environmental reasons.
    in response to ur question i guess there isnt any body with 1 side except mentally handicapped people.
    finally we show our real face to people whom we trust only.

  • At Friday, September 15, 2006 2:11:00 AM , Blogger Rain Drop said...

    i think that you are being your self when you're with someone whom you feel comfortable with, someone whom you can actually trust... but why is it that we feel comfortable with certain people, why do we trust them, and we don't with others???
    my other question is, why do we tend to "make" people like us? we act in the way they want us to... why don't we just try to let others like us for who we really are inside? do we really have to "fake it" to be accepted or to get what we want?

  • At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 12:27:00 AM , Anonymous sadiki said...

    Rain Drop,
    Wonderful discussion. I can almost guess your age by your discussion. This is a familiar discussion of people this age. Do not think I am overly patronizing, because I am not smarter than you. I only think I am older than you, because I have experienced your questions, and I no longer ask those questions. I have come to my own conclusions, which might not be the same ones you will have.

    As you grow, you realize that you are many people. You struggle with being "person A" or "person B". There may even be a "person C". Who defines you? By what are you defined? This is such a common question of people in their 20's.

    The truth is, you are all these people, and they all exist, and they all exist separately. How can this be? I don't know, but it is true. I know it is true, because if you deny any one of those people, you will not be at peace. They all exist, and it is ok to feel them and to be them, just as long as you allow yourself to understand that you have many different facets.

    An entirely different question is "trust". If you have a good feeling about the validity of your own existence, then your ability to define yourself against others will be easier. What you are really asking is "I want proof, by others, that I exist". Sorry, you'll never get that. And the more you try to prove that you exist in the eyes of someone else, the more you will "make people like us".

    Good luck

  • At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 12:58:00 AM , Blogger Rain Drop said...

    Hi Sadiki and welcome :)

    i believe that there is 1 real person inside each 1 of us, with many sides and interists... it's just that others see different images of us :) they see what they want to see in us, or what they want us to be :)

    i don't want others to prove that i exist, i want "me" to prove to myself that i exist :) to fulfill the need i have inside of not being another female copy, to be the person that i want to be, or in other words, a person of substance, some1 who can make a difference in this world, no matter how small, and not just another number...

  • At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 4:33:00 PM , Anonymous Sadiki said...

    Hi RainDrop,
    I really enjoy your blog, especially on your post about Egyptian mummies. You are so very fortunate to have these museums. We don't have those, and while you wonder about your connection to these past people, I am even unable to be aware of what I am not aware of.

    But in regard to your comment: "I believe there is one real person inside of us". I believe you are wrong, but do not take this as me trying to say I am smarter than you. I say this in order for you to perhaps consider a change of perspective.
    You believe that there is only one person inside of you because perhaps you NEED to believe that there is only 1 reality. I completely understand this.
    I suggest to you that you will soon find a place where you can ideo-locate yourself with the universe. You can say to yourself "I am -- HERE!". This time will come for you. However, after this time, you will realize that you are indeed many places, and each carry equal validity. While it is frightening now to consider yourself as "many different people", I suggest to you that later on in life you will agree that these words are true. I suggest writing this down for future reference, and seeing if my theory is true.

  • At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 4:48:00 PM , Anonymous sadiki said...

    In regards to your comment:"I want to be a person of substance", you must first understand what substance/meaning is. I recall one of my favorite Zen Riddles -

    A stranger walked up to me and asked, "What is the most significant thing you have ever done in your entire life?"
    I thought for a long time, about my successes, about the big and daring trips I had taken abroad, about the times I had seen things that few people in my town had ever been able to see, about the times where I had overcome my fears, chosen my heart over my head, and acted heroically and was deemed a hero by friends and family. I thought about the times I had helped others, or earned degrees, or all the other things that I felt the most proud of.
    After a long time of carefully weighing all these events, I issued my answer.
    I then asked the stranger, "what is the most significant thing YOU have ever done?"
    He replied to me as he replied to all others who asked this question, "talk to you."

  • At Tuesday, September 26, 2006 11:59:00 PM , Blogger Rain Drop said...

    Hi again :)

    am enjoying your comments :)

    btw, lots of those egyptian mummies were stolen a long time ago :) only few are left in Egypt... you can find the rest spread in museums all around the world :)

    yes, i do believe that we are multiple people in one, but 1 of those personalities is stronger and more real than the rest, it's who u really are :)

    "I am HERE" to me = "I am useful, am happy and satisfied with what i've accomplished so far", i guess i still have a long way to go before i reach that point ;)

    thanks for the Zen riddle :) to be honest, i can't find an answer to his question ... maybe because i do believe that i still didn't do "the most significant thing" i'll ever do in my entire life yet ;) i'll let you know when i know :D

  • At Thursday, September 28, 2006 5:10:00 PM , Anonymous sadiki said...

    Ahh it is the essence of the riddle...

    I can't wait to hear about your most significant event. But alas, will I be around to hear it?

    So what is more important?

    On one hand there is "significance" and your achieving it.

    On the other hand, there is relaying it to me, and having me validate that to you.

    So, is it important that you do something significant, or is it important to know that you are not alone?

    I believe it is the latter we actually spend our lives trying to do, while many times fooling ourselves by thinking that we are trying to do the former.

    It's the "Wizard of Oz" syndrome (did you see that movie? It was the first color movie made back in the 1930's). You spend so much time searching for something, then realizing you didn't need to search any further than your own backyard ("there's no place like home"). Conversely however, many people don't take a good look at their own backyard, even though many people spend their lives there. Maybe that's what being in your 20's is all about. Looking around and realizing that even though you might think that your backyard is small and there is nothing there, and that you feel all alone and want to reach out to connect with people and the universe, if you spend some time to understand life, you can realize that the whole world is with you in your backyard.

  • At Thursday, September 28, 2006 8:49:00 PM , Blogger Rain Drop said...

    i already know that am not alone :) actually, it's hard to be alone in our countries ;) (i have 5 sisters and a brother :D )

    doing something significant really depends on what "significant" means to each one of us... u can do everything that others think is significant, but yet, not feel that u did something significant :)

    i guess it's just something in humans... no matter how far we reach, we keep on asking, where else could i go? what else could i accomplish?

    maybe that's something good after all :) what's life worth if you've nothing significant left to do or live for?


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