Private Thoughts and Imaginations...

Thursday, June 21, 2007

The Point of NO RETURN!

i was talking to a very good friend of mine at uni today, and during our "vague" discussion, i realized that we both share the very same fear, although neither of us knew or had a clue what the other had in mind :)

it was the fear that we get when we reach a point where we can no more decide whether we should take a certain step in our lives or not, coz once u take that step, there is no way back, u can either win it all, or ur either going to lose everything :) and u have no idea how things are going to end... but at the same time, if u don't take ur chances, u r going to lose a lot, for such chances only occur once in a life time, and ur time is running out... and although u can never tell what might happen (or not) in both cases, u have to decide...

perhaps it's the fear of failure, or simply just fearing the unknown or what to expect... fearing that things won't end up the way we hope, or that they would end in a horrible way and destroy all ur hopes and dreams... that it would be the biggest mistake in ur life ever :)

although we didn't get to a final solution, and we still have fears, i can only say that i've enjoyed this type of what i call a "higher level" communication, i guess am lucky to have found such a friend :)

the thing is, if u were in our shoes, what would u do? would u take ur chances, knowing that u won't be able to fix things if they go real bad, or would u choose to skip, and wait in hope that another chance as this "might" occur later in ur life when ur ready to take it?

Saturday, June 16, 2007

Finally, a post ;)

i know it's been a while since i've last posted (about 4 months now!), but i was really touched by the fact that lots of you (specially David, Tala, Kinzi, Dar and samir amongst others) kept on visiting this blog in hope that i might post something new :)

where did i vanish, and what happened during the past 4 months? it's a long story :) (actually i felt like i was living in an indian movie since nothing around me made sense at all ;) a murder, a robbery, a fire, a play, a weird engagement and a messy last minute graduation project. i know that u probably won't believe any of what i'll say, so i'll just keep it all for myself ;) all i can say is that during the past months, i have learned a lot, and i have pretty much changed :)

i have chosen to miss the graduation ceremony the i've been looking forward to for the past 5 long years of my life, and am mad enough to consider getting a masters degree! but the good thing is, i made it, i have managed to survive through it all :D and i have no regrets what so ever... am just more sure than i ever was that God doesn't play dice... everything, no matter how unimportant it may seem to be, happens for a reason :) and although life can get really ugly, it still manages to show it's unique beauty in a magnificent way! i have realized that sometimes, perfection lies in the imperfection :D

what will i be doing now? i'll open a new page, or perhaps a new chapter in my life :) i'll take my chances and spread my wings (although i know that i might just be doing this to run away!)... where will i end? am just a rain drop... i guess like u, all i could do is wait and see ;) i just hope that my life would be worth living, and that i'll do something useful with it :)

till my next post, take care all :)